Wednesday, November 30, 2011

on gratitude

A week ago I had this grand plan. My plan, my master plan was to get all my big to-do's done before December. Then December would be one big month of leisure. I'd relish being a student and having Leeann Carey teach me. I'd travel and spend a week in California for work, play, and retreating. I'd teach my classes, keep up with day to day happenings. Spend time with the Tessandoris and celebrate Christmas with the grandness that they do.

I'm still doing all those things of course. Two days ago I realized that December was coming much quicker than I thought. Heck, I think I lost a whole week somewhere along the way. Needless to say, I'll be doing more that I was hoping this month. But that's totally ok. It's more than ok.

So here I sit. Thinking about this month's theme at the studio....gratitude. This is the last day of November. Craziness.

I have to much to be thankful for. Words fail to express the ways in which I am blessed. I imagine if you are reading this, you too are beyond blessed.

Blessed doesn't mean easy. Sometimes perhaps. Certainly not always. I've spilled more tears in the last four months than I ever have in my entire life. I've cursed. Yelled. Kicked. Screamed.

You name it and I've probably felt it and acted on it.

Yet I am blessed. The closeness, the tenderness that I'm feeling for my family and friends is unlike anything I've felt before. My heart and soul has always been tender. It became even more tender and vulnerable with my years of yoga. The last four months my heart feels like it's shattered into a million pieces, spanning near and far, wide and deep. I'm tenderly putting the pieces back together again. To say that I've been cracked open is putting it mildly.

I am blessed for this baby of mine, Barefoot Works. I am blessed to do work that I love. Work that I feel fierce about. Work that makes a difference. Work that changes my life in more ways than I know.

This work that I am blessed to do allows be the great honor, the great privilege to hear your stories. My heart is not the only one that's recently been breaking. I hear your stories too. I am moved by them. I stand in awe of you and your ability to be brave in the face of scary and uncertain times. I hold you and your stories with great care and great reverence. I relate to your joys and your challenges(and the tight hammies too ;). I am blessed.

I was telling dear dear Andy tonight at dinner, "I feel like the theme of this whole year in impermanence." This has been my reality. It is my reality. I'm reminded in more ways than one just how fragile life is and that nothing last forever.

So I'm reminding myself to appreciate it all.

The colors of the sunset tonight.
The feel of Andy's hand in mine.
The look of my students face.
Cuddle time with the dogs.
The warmth the treehouse exudes.
The presence of sensation when I stretch into down dog.
How the sound of my breath soothes me.
Fresh veggies to chop.
Juices that nourish me.
A warm cozy robe.
The sound of my parents voice.
Poetry that heals and fills my heart.
Teachers that show up in the most random places.
Hills to hike.
Mountains of magic.
In-laws I love.
Old records and rum and apple cider.
Opportunities to learn, grow, and travel.
A BFF that makes the call that I can't.
Students that trust me and trust themselves.
Even in the midst of a hurricane.

So. Much. Goodness.

Tonight I am bowing to you with a grateful and tender heart.
Near and far.
Far and wide.
Over and over.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

with gratitude,

1 comment:

Where fibers meet mud said...

Oh dear~ a poem that dreams are made of~ Namaste...