Wednesday, December 15, 2010

silent retreat schedule

One of the questions I've gotten most about my silent retreat is, "What did you do all day?" I'm actually both surprised by how little, yet how much I did. I really didn't feel like I got bored. I didn't feel like I was reaching, grasping for things to do.

What I do see now that I've been back for two days is it took some adjusting for me just "to be". To be without a goal. To be without an agenda. To be, without being productive.

In looking back at my journal I can see how I was dealing with that on Saturday while retreating. While I wasn't working, there was probably still a part of me in work mode. One example....I recorded everything I did on Saturday.

This is how it goes:
7:00 Wake, lay in bed, and watch is grow light outside.
8:15 Make hot tea, write in journal
9:00 Meditate
10:00 Drink a green juice, sit in the rocker, and watch outside
10:45 Yoga
12:00 Abhyanga (self massage), shower
12:45 Lunch
1:30 Start to walk labyrinth but it starts to rain, go to chapel, then the common area. I get a book by Mary Oliver, Long Life
2:30 Start a fire, sit in front of fire for meditation
3:30 Reflect and write about end of the year questions
4:15 Make hot chocolate and read Mary Oliver
5:15 Yin Yoga
6:30 Dinner
7:00 Read & write
8:00 Meditation

I look at this list and it looks like sooo much! But then I read back over and it pretty much includes: eating, mediation, yoga, reading, writing, and watching.

But I was on some kind of task. Part of me wanted to record so I could come back and see what I did later on. Part of me wanted to record so I could share here on the blog. So, some part of me was connected.

Which I'm ok with. Interestingly enough I didn't make any more notes, didn't record my play by play actions any other day. I think Friday when I arrived I was excited about my retreat. Saturday was my first full day of silence and I probably had a harder time this day unplugging from everything.

Surprising even to me on Sunday when I woke, sat, drank hot tea, and watched outside I thought to myself "I can't believe I only have one more day." Then I see the three deer grazing outside my cabin about fifteen feet, and at that time observing them was the most important on my agenda.

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