Saturday, March 01, 2008

a yogi confesses

When I tell people that I'm a yoga teacher, I usually get a variety of responses and reactions. Here are a few common responses:

"Oh, you must be the most relaxed, zen-like person ever!"
"I bet you are sooooo flexible. I can't even touch my toes!"
"I bet you are the perfect example of a yoga teacher. You always seem so calm."
And my personal fave...."That sounds fun. What else do you do?"

So today dear friends, I come clean about myself and what it means to be a yoga teacher (at least for this gal).

1. I'm not a saint. I am not always calm and relaxed. Just ask my husband, friends and family. Ask that person driving that wouldn't let me get over in a lane to take my exit the other day. Yes, I try to make an effort to let the small things go most of the time. But there are times that I swear.....and I've been known to swear like a sailor.
2. When I practice yoga in the morning (like this morning for example) I myself can barely bend over and touch my hands to the floor. I'm not the most flexible of yogi's. And I'm pretty certain I never will. It's ok, I've moved on. Just don't expect me to bend over and walk my torso between my legs when you're practicing next to me at the studio.
3. I'm not a guru. I've never had a guru. And I'm 99% certain I never will be either of those. I'm all about discovering and living my own truth. Some days I know what that means. Other days I have no clue.
4. I've been known to make judgments, say horribly mean things, and act in rotten ways. Saying rotten things with a yoga teacher's voice doesn't change the fact that they are evil, evil words.
5. I've been known to question many things. People that I love, people that I don't know, people that I respect and people I felt didn't deserve my respect. I've questioned my beliefs and my life. And possibly yours. There have been times that I've thrown my arms in the air and told the universe to "kiss my asana".

Whew!! I feel better now. For just a brief moment, I wanted to back this up with all the ways that yoga helps me to speak more clearly, love more clearnly, and live more clearly. But I don't think I will. I need to clean the house. We have friends coming over. I think we'll order pizza, chat and catch up. Maybe even drink a beer...or two. :-)


Anonymous said...

I think we're all just out here doing the best we can, most of the time. I think you manage to do that more than most, but loved your confessions anyway!
Enjoy your evening with your friends!

bella said...

Thank-you for this.
Cleaning house in more ways than one.
How quickly we, I, have made assumptions that someone who teaches yoga is somehow. . better, more enlightened, ect. .
Nope. We're all just human after all.
And I loved what you said about finding and living YOUR truth, which may be different tomorrow than today.
You rock.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for being so real! It's so important for people to find those they look up to as human and accessible.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for being so sensitive to the fact that your own personal truth and way of life may not be what works for someone else. I guess what I mean to say, in simple terms, is thanks for not ever turning the yoga classes into a time to preach about what people should or shouldn't do with their lives. I can easily see how an instructor-with-an-agenda could do that (e.g., "If your legs are burning in chair pose, just think of the suffering animals must endure so that you can go home and eat them!"). :) As long as we all do our best and our part, however big or small it may be, we should all be just fine.