on designing your life

Before I owned Barefoot Works....

Before I was a yoga teacher....

Before I was a yoga student....

I knew that I wanted to create my own job. I didn't want a boss. I wanted to be my very own boss. I knew that I wanted to design my life to be true to who I was and what I wanted.

Never mind that I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. Looking back, that didn't matter.

What did matter was my intense desire to live a life on my own terms. Whatever that meant. Again, I didn't know.

I scoured websites of people doing things they loved. One of the first websites I recall finding, drooling, and reading over and over was "Girl at Play". I was living in TX at the time. I recall seeing a profile of a photographer in KY. Her name was Melanie Mauer. She was doing what she loved. I was inspired by her. And smitten by her cuteness. Oh. So. Cute.

I read books. I pondered. I dreamed of possibilities.

At my job, my co-worker Kristy (who is still one of my BF's) and I chatted about what types of businesses we would start. I can't recall what they were. But we had big plans for the future.

I talked to my brother who owned his own business. He was successful and I wanted to be too. If he could do it, certainly I could too.

Life got crazy. I had my mid 20's crisis (you think I'm kidding don't you?). I ran. And ran. I found yoga.

Or yoga found me. Who knows. But it was clearly meant to be.

Even now as new thoughts and new dreams float through my head and I consciously engage with them.... I keep coming back to:

1. Does this truly represent me? By "me" I mean what I want and not what others expect.
2. Does this support who I am?
3. Does this support what makes me feel happy and alive?
4. Does this support where I want to grow to?

Why? Because although I'm still uncertain about many things on any given day. I am 100% certain that I still want to design and live a life that nurtures my nature and drive to feel content and joy*full while making a difference in the ways that I can.

How about you? Are you designing your life (to the degree that you can) or is someone else designing it for you?

PS - That cute photographer that I admired from afar, Melanie....I've had the good fortune to know her as a yoga student and personally come to know that she is just as darling in the flesh as she is online.