Friday, January 11, 2013

authenticity & vulnerability

I was inspired by this and suspect you will be too. Sarah Frank Bowker shares with us what is guiding her throughout the year. Good yoga life stuff, for sure.

My 2013 theme: communication with authenticity and vulnerability

Yup, that’s my theme.  It is helping to inform all of the Big Goals I have planned for the year.  And I am slowly starting to get comfortable with this Very Strange Desire to have a theme, and commit to these Big Goals for my year.  You see, I am not someone who has done a lot Specific Planning. 

In fact, the last New Year’s Resolution I made (that I kept) was in 2007, to start a regular yoga practice…and we all know how that turned out. ;)

But seriously, in years past – if I spent one hour thinking about the past year’s accomplishments, and then making a “To Do” list for the coming year – that was a Big Accomplishment for me.

And you know what? That hour, that little bit of focused time I spent was worth it.  It helped me to call attention to my desires, help me celebrate my accomplished goals, or more often – progress towards a goal. And that was where I needed to be with my planning.  And the universe supported my intentions, I know that.

Yet as fall weather cooled into winter here in Kentucky, I came to realize I needed to enter 2013 with thoughtfulness, planning, and a theme to guide the goals I would set.

So why the change?  I am not entirely sure.  But I have felt a perceptible shift in my energy.  I remarked to Sharon over bunch recently that I felt “rested up.” That it is time to deepen my commitment to myself.  In yoga terms, I am feeling tapas (heat) in a creative energetic way.

I am feeling inspired.

Inspired to tackle areas of my shadow self that I have resisted in years past.

Inspired to embrace a couple of big new projects in 2013.

And, inspired to not put a ton of pressure on myself with this new-found energy shift.

How did I come to my 2013 theme?

“Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.” –Eckhart Tolle

As 2012 drew to a close the word authenticity kept popping up in my world.  It’s as if the universe was starting to coyly wink at me, as she often does.  She would drop this word authenticity into quotes posted by friends on Facebook, in books I had been reading, and even in my meditations, my heart was craving authenticity.

What is authenticity to me, I asked myself? I was not sure…but I was willing to listen to my heart on this one.

Yet along with this grand appearance of the word authenticity, I immediately felt a connection to the word vulnerability.

I thought to myself, “Oh crap. Really?  THAT’S what is helping me to define authenticity?” < Insert a deep breath here>

Vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” –Brene Brown

As I let this word settle into my heart, I knew it was right.  But vulnerability is a fearsome concept.  One that brings challenge AND opportunity.

Being vulnerable. Opening myself to the gifts and the lessons that this focus will surely bring puts me into a space that I am not immediately comfortable with. (Can you blame me?) 

But I have my breath. 
I have my yoga mat.

And I give myself permission to imperfectly pursue my theme and my goals; a valve to let some of the steam from the heat, the tapas, of my 2013 Theme and Plans escape.

I am curious to know where your energy is being attracted in 2013.  What would you like to create space for this year?

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