Sunday, November 25, 2012

where exactly is hOMe?

Greetings Friends, enjoy this pretty perfect post from Kate Dorvel as she reflects on what hOMe is and what it means to her.
On Wednesday morning as I sat on the airplane, with my seat belt fastened and my feet, quite literally, like ice-blocks, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmingly grateful.

Craig and I and my dear friend Millie (this girl had no clue what was in store for her!) were on our way back to Boston for the Thanksgiving. After an hour and twenty minutes of driving from Paris to Cincinnati, finding a parking spot, checking in and getting through airport security, we had taken off and were sailing eastward.

I hadn’t seen my mamma in 2 months, my dad, brother, Jax and everyone else in over three months. This doesn’t seem like a long time, but it truly feels like an eternity. I simply couldn’t wait to be with them again. I told my group of students last Tuesday evening “I’m heading home for the holiday!” and then I had to remind myself that our home is in Kentucky now!

But is my home only in Kentucky? Well, sure my home home-base is in Kentucky. That is where Craig and I have built our home, with our dogs Daisy Doodles and Kiboko. Call it our administrative offices, our abbey, our retreat, our safe zone, “the ranch” as Craig calls it or even “the mothership,” (we are kind of out there!) it doesn’t matter. This is the hub from where the rest of my life stems from.

But I also have a home in Boston. In fact, I have 27 years of home there, and some of the most important people in my life, my mama and daddy, Grayson, Jax, my grandfather and grandmother, Murphy and Matilda and a core set of friends-that-are-family that guided me through multiple stages of personal evolution. At the beach house, I have the same thing, a group of essential, eclectic individuals that have and will continue to influence me.

Home means many different things to each individual. It can be a place, but usually it is a place where people are, right? I am reminded of the Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero’s lyric: “home is whenever I’m with you.” Even if it is a place that can sometimes be stressful with several strong personalities and long standing issues, it is still home. 

My parents recently moved out of our childhood home, and into a condo in the city of Boston. During one of mama’s temporary transition-related breakdowns where she was spiraling downward she said to me “this is an apartment! It’s not a home. I’m so sad you and Craig don’t have a home to come to at Thanksgiving.”  I let her wail (maybe I’m exaggerating??) a bit longer, because I’ve learned not to tell her “snap out of it” (not a good result, ever.). Once she was done, but still sniffling a bit, I told her that we were coming home to our family, not to a house! That helped a bit, but it did take some time to sink in.

So there it started for me, a simple but quite profound revelation. I will always have a home where Craig, Daisy and Kibo are. I will always have a home where my mother and father are. I will always have a home wherever Grayson and Jax are. I will always have a home where my grandmother and grandfather are. And if they are not physically with me they will always, always always be at home in my heart and in my spirit, and I in theirs. For that level of love, awareness and interconnectedness I am forever grateful.

Home starts with you, within your heart and your spirit. Once you begin to live that truth, those who make up your home will feel it too. As the old adage goes “home is where the heart is!”

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