Tuesday, August 06, 2013

weathering transition

A beautiful blog post by the soul-full Meredith Swim. I'm breathing a little easier now and I hope you will too after reading her words. xoxo, Sharon

Prayer ~ Belleruth Naparstek

Just give me this:

A rinsing out, a cleansing free

Of all my smaller strivings

So I can be the class act God intended,

True to my purpose,

All my energy aligned behind my deepest intention.
And just this:

A quieting down,

A clearing away of internal ruckus,

So I can hear the huge stillness in my heart,

And feel

How I pulse with all creation,

Part and parcel of Your great singing ocean.

And this too:

A willingness to notice and forgive

The myriad times I fall short,

Forgetting who I really am,

What I really belong to.
So I can start over,

Fresh and clean,

Like sweet sheets billowing in the summer sun,

My heart pierced with gratitude

After the initial thrill of finishing undergrad at UK, I fell into a limbo like state and haven’t felt centered during these rather radiant summer days. Frankly, I’m mad that I feel off-centered. This emotional state reflects the transitioning (Yes, hello, Change) taking place right now in my life.

I’m transitioning from being an undergraduate to an adult like person in the workplace. I’m moving out of my beloved cherry red room that was a sanctuary during my college days and back to my childhood home. I’m clearing out old essays and organizing clothes and books while struggling with the stress and lack of confidence that habitually bubbles up for me when I am in the midst of a grand, elegant mess (anyone out there good with organizing clutter? I’ll pay you in lattes for help).

In a tearful breakdown to my mom, she gave me familiar advice: “Breathe Courage.” This was my mantra for June, but it seems to have vanished into the rainstorms and heat waves of July. I blinked, a bit shocked and agitated to hear my lost Higher Self’s words of wisdom.

“You already have the answers,” she soothed. 

My mind revisited Naparstek’s poem: a willingness to notice and forgive/the myriad times I fall short.

So, here I am noticing that I feel ungrounded these days, more sensitive and reactive to others and to myself. I notice the resentment and judgment I feel toward my sensitivity and the rhetoric from childhood claiming I am too soft and incapable for the hustle and bustle of the “real” world.

I notice the small, but significant moments when I do not harshly judge myself and choose to channel compassion and forgiveness for self. Noticing.

Perhaps at this moment of change, simply taking note and forgiving whatever emerges will be the remedy for weathering this transition, or as Sharon beautifully put it, transformation.

Wherever you are in this moment, blog traveler, take a moment to Notice. Greet whatever emerges with compassion and include some forgiveness.

We all fall short, but we also can rise.


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