Tuesday, July 23, 2013

falling into contentment

 Come away and cultivate contentment with miss Misty Pittman. Enjoy yoga friends.....

I have my yoga clothes on, new Avia capris and a blue Outer Banks t-shirt. Class starts in 79 minutes. I could leave now and get there with a few minutes to spare. But I'm not going to. 

I can give you a few solid reasons to justify this. I'm exhausted because I spent more time last night coughing than sleeping. I'm feeling a little queasy from all the Robitussin and cough drops that I consumed in the middle of the night. I still need to put the finishing touches on my plan for the class that I am scheduled to teach later this morning. 

All valid, right?

But really, honestly, my heart is just not in it this morning.

I have the house to myself, and it's not often that I have the house to myself. I like this alone time. I tell myself that I should at least be doing something productive while I'm here, like running the washing machine, but I don't want to. 

What I really want to do is just sit and be quiet. I want to cough my little heart out, without worrying that I'm disturbing someone. I want to drink my ginger tea slowly, savoring it, instead of trying to keep from spilling it all over myself as I drive to Lexington. I want to write. I want to go to the farmers market and buy veggies that will boost my immune system and kick this cough’s ass. 

Of course, I tell myself that I am not being a good yogi by skipping class, that I'm not being a good wife by not cleaning the house, that I'm not being a good mummy by not walking the dogs.
But then I let it go, because Failure and me have a close relationship, one that I respect very much.

This is how I fail everyday. I make a commitment to myself and then I renege. It’s so easy to beat myself up over it, too.  

But what’s the point?

Inhale inhale inhale… exhhhhhaaalle let it go.

When I let go, I accept. When I accept, I can move on and be present. When I can be present, I can start to see the horizon of contentment.

I can choose to spend the next hour watching the clock, telling myself that I should be at class, or I can indulge in my change of heart and soak up the quiet that I am really craving. I can send a little light to the students that I know I won’t get to sun salute with, and then take another yummy sip of tea.
When I remember to accept I can expand and soften (just like a really good supta baddha konasana).

The wisdom on my tea bag tells me that ‘the greatest tool you have is to listen’. And that is really, truly, all you need to do. Ask your Self what you most need in any given moment and listen. You don’t always have to listen to the shoulds and have tos, but you do always have to listen to your heart.

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