Thursday, December 31, 2009

adios 2009

I've been giving some thought to the year...what I learned, where I was challenged, how I took a three steps forward at times, and two steps back at others. Here's a rundown of the lows and highs of the year:

**Family "stuff". And quite a bit of it. It was a common theme throughout my year. There was hurt. And confusion. And general feelings of helplessness that I think we all encounter as we watch those we love the most struggling. I learned to fully embrace my family and to understand I can't take the pain and suffering away from those hurting.

**Busy-ness and overwhelm. In the beginning of the year I was so busy that I forgot a meeting that this THIS important to me. It was a meeting in Hazard with the folks who got a grant, that allowed me to share my thing (yoga), in an area that I felt really needed it...eastern Kentucky. It took me a while to forgive myself on that one. But it totally made me re-evaluate how I was spending my time and I got it....that I would have to learn to say "no" to things in order for me to shout "yes" to the things most important. Or at least show up for scheduled meetings.

**The master cleanse. 10 days of not eating. Ouch. I learned how much of an emotional eater I am. How much I love food and how sometimes I eat food for all the wrong reasons. I learned to let go of a number (as in yoga pants size and on a scale) and to make conscious decisions to eat foods that will fuel my body, so that I can have a body that sustains me in living my life purpose.

**Uncertainty. About something really big. I'm learning that I've made a habit of hanging out in the land of limbo (or uncertainty)rather than make a decision because I don't want to deal with the feelings of loss that come along. This has been really tough as I'm typically a gal that can make decisions and follow through fairly easy. That has thrown me for quite the loop.

**Realizing that I'm not as open minded as I thought I was. There are clearly areas in which I have a tendency to limit my thinking. I'm thankful to be learning this lesson now. Big Mind. Big Mind.

**Feeling like I contributed to a student that suffered an injury during a private session. This was a toughie. I worried. And felt horrible. It made me question my skills and knowledge as a yoga teacher.

**Studio stuff. There were two months this year when attendance wasn't doing nearly what it had been in previous months. I absolutely couldn't figure out why. I was hesitant to even put this here, as one of my "highs" is that I've been successfully moving away from the mindset of scarcity. But if there was a "low" as far as the studio, this is what I can think of.

**Feeling separated from family and friends because of how much I was choosing to work.

**Studio stuff. Wow, this was a great year for Barefoot Works. I felt blessed so be involved in a happy, thriving business when many other entrepreneurs are suffering as we deal with this economy stuff. We moved into a big, spacious, beautiful studio. Added two new teachers to the staff. Added more classes. Students stuck with the practice. Lots of newbies signed on. General amazingness.

**The master cleanse. That I could go 10 days without eating blew my mind. I felt good during most of the cleanse and afterwards. I felt awake, alive, vibrant, and oh so healthy.

**Self care. I took three weeks of vacation this year (no leading retreats does not count as vacation). I haven't done that since I left my FT job in Texas. I also committed to taking Mondays off and was successful with that much of the time. And committed to not driving on Mondays. Lots of success here too. I was consistent with my practices that keep me, meditation, pranayama, walking in nature, reading uplifting feel good stuff, journaling, being creative, and retreating! To Maya Tulum. And I'm retreating for two days as the new year approaches.

**Finally getting it...there is enough!! Enough time, enough money, enough knowledge. I was on this treadmill of work, work, work to be sure to get money, money, money. After the "forgotten meeting" from above, I made some changes. I worked less. And said "no" to more things. What I got in return has been amazing. More time with Andy, more time for self care, and enough money for the business that I'm not worrying about money, and making it during these tough times, and all that ick.

**Vacations. Again, I took 3!! That is such a high that it's worth mentioning again. Two to Tulum and one to Florida with my best gal pal. I made it to the beach five times this year. Thank you universe. Thank you. The sea calls to me, and I must answer. ;)

**Me doing lots of my favorite things. Teacher training and retreats. This is what I really really love. I led the 200 hour training at the studio, plus an additional 100 hours in Hazard, teacher training for 2010 is full. For retreats...I got my magic number of 10 for Mexico, sold out for NC, and we have one spot open for the local daylong retreat.

**Plans for 2010. I pretty much have two thirds of the year planned. Crazy. And kinda cool. Plus I may be taking a BIG trip for myself in 2010. Still sitting with this one.

**Working with some amazing people that have helped me to dream, to grow, open my eyes to system, educate me with business, and helping me to get clear. Most of them have been via the web. And I've recently started working with a life coach. Love it. It can get lonely working alone and the support throughout the year has been really good.

**Identified the "things" feeling most important to me these days....spirit and service.

**Working with the girls at Florence Crittenton Home. And leading teacher training in Hazard have been the two most powerful things for me all year long. Really huge.

**Being surrounded by a team of teachers that really love Barefoot Works and really believe in what we are doing, teaching, and sharing with students.

**I'm a leader! People have been saying it and I sorta shy away from it but I'm embracing it more and more. And it feels kinda good. Surprise surprise!

**Giving myself permission to dream a few new dreams. And having faith that the ones will come true that need to.

**And you! I feel such joy when I think about what I get to do day in and day out. I'm surrounded by amazing people. And hardly a day goes by that I don't give thanks for this. Thank you...

Have a seriously sweet new year! May 2010 be a year filled with magic and mystery. Joy and greatness. I'll see you next year!



Jen said...

Your list brings tears to my eyes ... I am constantly amazed by your honesty, your insight and your sincerity. Thank you for being you! Can't wait to see you at the retreat!

sparkey said...

Dear Sharrrrron,
Your honesty is inspiring!
Peace and LOVE for the new year. So happy to celebrate another one with you.
peace and love,