Friday, June 27, 2014

ever felt like you didn't belong on a yoga mat?

I attended a really amazing yoga retreat, called Curve Camp last weekend in Nashville, TN. It was organized by the lovely Anna of Curvy Yoga and my mind is still reeling from the goodness of it all. There has been an abundance of aha's since the opening session on Friday.
I've written here before how stepping onto my mat for the first time felt like a "coming home" of sorts for me. It was my yoga mat that taught me how to accept and appreciate my body, imperfections and all. 
Did I appreciate my body in every single pose, on every single day? Heck, no. But I was growing my capacity, my ability to accept my body, curves and all.
Fast forward many years and I got pregnant. Experienced loss and got pregnant again less than three months later. My body is not the same body as when I started practicing yoga. My heart is not the same as when I started practicing yoga.
My body, my heart, my practice..... they have all grown.
There have been times in my yoga life that I've felt like a round peg forcing myself into a round hole. Or maybe a triangle pose forcing myself into a side angle pose is more appropriate?
And I'm so over it. I've been over it for a while. This is just me naming and claiming it.
I do not fit the yoga standard. And for this I am thankful. Why?
Because I believe we need more diversity in yoga studios and on the mat. I am a curvalicious yoga teacher who prefers street clothes to spandex (among many other things). Asana does not come easy for me. Some would say I drink too much coffee. And that my language is a bit too colorful. 
I could go on but I'll stop and say.....
What I want you to know is this::
You don't have to re-shape yourself before claiming your right to be on a yoga mat or in front of the boardroom.
You don't have to be a particular age, shape, color, or size to benefit from yoga.
You are worthy of breath and praise and love and feeling good regardless of whether or not you can touch your toes.
You don't have to be able to do a perfect down dog in order to connect with the divine.
This body that you have today, imperfections and all. It is freaking beautiful. Brilliant in magical and mysterious ways. You are a living, breathing, blinking, digesting, processing, pumping, organizing, orchestrating work of art.
You can accept your body for what it is today AND have the desire to create change in the ways you feel inspired to. Not because you'll finally be whole (psssst, you already are), but because it will light you and your life up even more.

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