Thursday, October 25, 2012

go ahead, be Self centered

Please enjoy this guest post by the awesomeface Kate Dorvel. She writes about one of my favorite ideas and practices....putting "yourSelf on your to-do list" and she makes a pretty compelling case for why you should. Insert a nod to Orpah Winfrey for introducing this idea to me many years ago. Grateful for her and the wisdom of Kate's post today. Enjoy Friends.


In this season of movement and transition does it feel like you are over extended, stretched too thin, drained of all energy? You are undoubtedly not the only one. We begin to sign up for this, commit to that, volunteer for this and quite frankly tend to do everything for everyone else, until you sit down at the end of your day to eat, what probably should be dinner at 9pm and wonder, what the hell did I do today?

The other day, Craig asked me how my day was, and I actually had to say “hold on a second, I need to think about what I did.” I couldn’t believe that I actually had to perseverate on what had transpired over the day!
I was so energetically drained that I wasn’t sure which end was up or down, I didn’t want to eat the meal I just cooked, I just wanted my glass of WINE and BED.

Occasionally you get to the point where your to-do list incorporates things for your home, partner, children, animals, boss, friends, yard etc . Very infrequently are you on your to-do list, am I right? The result often is an inability to give anymore to anyone(including you), a feeling of exhaustion, slight depression?, maybe even getting sick?

As I mentioned above, the cause is giving all of our energy to others, but without reserving any of it for ourselves.

The best way, that I have found, to counteract this is meditation.

Now, now, don’t get scared. My practice is not laiden with meditation, nor do I consider myself particularly “good” at it – if there is such a thing. Let me rephrase – the best way, that I have found, to counteract this is sitting quietly with oneself once a day for five to ten minutes and attending to my breath.

For me, this helps me to RE-CENTER. Otherwise I go 100% with my brain and body never check in with my spirit and my heart. And how can you be the best that you can be if you aren’t working from a place of intention? Even if you are remembering to do everything, you may not be doing it as well as you could be, simply because you are ignoring yourself.

For a lot of people, women in particular, mom’s/career enthusiasts or both (to name only two) in more particular, this is considered to be SELFISHyikers, now there is a bad word! We never want to be described as selfish, oh no, no. If we are selfish, then those around must be neglected! I interject – FALSE.

I invite you to BE SELFISH for ten minutes a day. Get yourself SELF-CENTERED.
Sit comfortably and quietly with yourself once a day (try for first thing in the morning), close your eyes and just breathe. If the thoughts come just let them go, nothing more and nothing less.
Deepen and lengthen your breath and listen to your heart. If you want, set a timer - put a gentle tone to draw you back - then you aren’t peeking at your phone every 30 seconds to see if you’re done yet.  
Try it.
You have nothing to lose if it doesn’t work for you, but I have an idea that you will feel notably better – body, mind, spirit and heart. You will be all of you, more present in each endeavor with each person you love.

All love begins with self love.

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