Tuesday, March 12, 2013

radical change

What a perfect baby bump? As most of you know, our beloved Julie is now taking a break from her Sunday class as she prepares for her biggest adventure yet.....mamahood. Julie is such an open hearted woman and I couldn't be happier for her. You'll want to read this....there are takeaways for all of us.
Well, the time has come for me to roll up my teaching mat and explore the wondrous world of motherhood for a while. For such a long time, I have been anticipating this moment- when I would teach my last class and step into my “maternity” leave of absence. 
As I walked into the treehouse Sunday, I felt a powerful emotion wash over me that I would feel several more times in the couple hours I was there. The next time was when fellow teacher, Sarah, walked through the big wooden door with a sweet, supportive smile on her face. The next time was the sight of my students faces as they snuggled into their mats for Savasana. 
The final time was when I was alone again in the treehouse- the energy of our practice still in the air, I sat on my mat, shed a few tears, and walked out the wooden door.

Change is really radical. Good or bad, it’s never very easy. I have some huge changes looming in my close future: I’m leaving my full time job of 7 years and I’m going to have a baby. I’m leaving what I know which is so comfortable and starting a journey that is very unknown. 
So how am I going to do it? 
Am I going to regret leaving my job? 
Am I going to be a good mom? 
Will I ever sleep again? 
How will teaching yoga feel after I’ve had the baby? 
How will DOING yoga feel after I have the baby? 
There’s so many questions swirling in my head on a daily basis.

But I’m waking up each morning and asking myself this: How can I quiet my mind and connect to the authenticity of my heart?

And a different piece of me softens each day. If it weren’t for the great wisdom of yoga, I wouldn’t have the tools to ask myself important questions like this. And if it weren’t for yoga, I wouldn’t be taking on this change with a sense of acceptance.

So while I take a little break from teaching, I’m going to take the time to DO yoga, be yoga, and delight in yoga in a whole new way. 
And when I come back to teach in a few months, I’ll put my whole, new mama heart into it!

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